Stuck in between labels: bisexuality unraveled
By Ali the Sexpert
April 2, 2008
 When most people hear the term bisexual, they automatically assume that the person using this label is sleeping with both men and women. This assumption is incorrect, because the label extends far beyond a person’s sexuality and is an actual identity. But, in order to fully understand bisexuality, you will need to learn more about this label first.
History of Bisexuality
The word bisexual was first used in the nineteenth century to refer to intersexed people (people who have both male and female genitalia). According to Wikipedia bisexuality was first referred to as a sexual orientation in 1914.
Historically, bisexuality was common and acceptable in Japanese, Greek and Aboriginal cultures. The entry goes on to say that bisexuality was seen as a sign of social status and was accepted if the person who engaged in it was also in a heterosexual marriage.
Alfred Kinsey was groundbreaking for his explanation of sexual fluidity and description of the heterosexual/homosexual continuum.
According to the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, Inc., Kinsey found that 28 per cent of women and 46 per cent of men had responded erotically or were sexually active with both women and men. How these people identified though was not always as bisexual.
Bisexuals are often called a ‘Kinsey 3,’ but there are degrees of understanding for those who use the bisexual label.
Even Kinsey himself was reluctant to use the word bisexuality to describe someone who was attracted to, or active with, individuals of both sexes, because the term has a derogatory physical and psychological history.
Social Assumptions and Labeling of Bisexuality
The word bisexual often leads people to assume that the person who identifies as bisexual is equally attracted to males and females. This assumption is often generated from historical and media misunderstandings.
A simple definition of a bisexual orientation refers to it as: the romantic and/or sexual attraction to someone of a person’s own and opposite sex.
Please note that there is a difference between fantasies, attraction and behaviour. Many people who fantasize or are attracted to people of both genders will not use the label bisexual because of the political and social misunderstandings of it.
 Bisexuality is actually much more fluid than it is believed to be. According to an unpublished dissertation by J. R. Little called Contemporary Female Bisexuality: A Psychosocial Phenomenon, there are 13 different types of bisexuality ranging from circumstantial bisexuals (those who are with the same sex when the opposite is not available), to emotional bisexuals (those who have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one sex), or recreational bisexuals (who are primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol).
Other people may be more attracted to one sex more, but have dated more of the opposite due to social expectations and availability of partners. Other people feel they are equally attracted to men and women, but only wish to be sexual with one, not both. Therefore, assuming that people who call themselves bisexual because they are having sex with both men and women is inaccurate. If you are curious, ask the person why they identify as bisexual and what it means to them when it is appropriate. You will likely be surprised how different each person’s response will be. There is much more fluidity among people who do not use rigid terms such as heterosexual, gay or lesbian, and there is even fluidity among people who identify this way. So never make assumptions about a person’s sexual orientation.
Rejecting Sexual Labels
Some people refuse labels because they feel they are too patronizing, and they run into people who misunderstand their label. They may also be tired of having to explain what their sexual identity means. This is particularly common among people who have more fluid sexual orientations. If they do choose a label then it may be one that most people are less familiar with such as pansexual, non-preferential, ambisexual, queer or omni-sexual. These can be umbrella orientation labels or more specific to the person – it all depends on who is using the term.
One of the largest reasons why a person may not want to use the bisexual label is biphobia, which refers to the sexual prejudice and/or discrimination towards people who identify as bisexual.
 Most people have heard of homophobia, but not of biphobia. Biphobia can manifest itself in numerous ways that people may not realize is biphobic. This goes along with the assumption that bisexuals are straight until proven otherwise; that they want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities; that they are greedy or they are bisexual because it is trendy, that they are defined by their current partner; that it’s just a phase or a stage or they are confused or a fence-sitter; that bisexuals never have committed relationships; or that bisexuality is only about their sexuality, but not them as a person.
These very hurtful assumptions and misunderstandings cause many people to not want to use the label bisexual. It is a loaded term with a lot of history just like other sexual orientation labels, so it should be used with caution and respect.
Conclusion
Think before you speak or ask. Never ask a question to someone that you would not be comfortable answering yourself. Many people focus on the sexual aspects of a bisexual person’s life when there are many other interesting things to learn about them.
Ali the Sexpert is a researcher and teacher in the field of sexuality. She has an Honours B.A. in Sociology (Windsor); a MA degree in Sociology (Windsor); is currently pursuing a second MA in Social Work. Campus Kiss is currently syndicated at universities across Canada.
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